Ok - here we go. So now its 2020, and I have been planning to start this blog site for months. For whatever reason, I felt this was all very overwhelming and couldn't attempt to add anything else to my list. Blogging is meant to be fun and simplistic though, right?!?! Now I feel its time. My initial concept for starting this blog was to add more depth to my business plan. To give a different human touch to the world of my salon. I mean - being a hair salon, it is literally all hands-on, but sometimes I choose to avoid discussing my personal human thoughts at work, outside of hair advice. And for those of you who know me, there are times where I am quite vocal about those thoughts. I tend to just allow my clients a platform to chat/vent/chill - whatever they need at the time of their visit. I will try to keep my thoughts to this blog - or use it as a way to connect and communicate better with my clients and staff. Perhaps even to share things that are discussed in the shop that may be beneficial for others to learn about, where acceptable.
My reason for blogging has now shifted though. This has been a crazy year for us. Lots of ups and downs - which is totally normal. But 2019 seemed exceptionally challenging - some deaths that hit me hard, issues with previous staff, my own close to mental breakdowns, being mentally pushed to a point that felt like it could end my love for the game. Full disclosure - this next portion is a rant but it makes me feel better to write it out. I felt like I had some things taken away from me - had parts of me and my sanity taken away at times, had terrible energies surrounding me for far too long. Then there was a rather insane incident that sort of sorted it all out for me though - it was a blessing in disguise I guess. Something I could't control. Terrible when it happened - like I had to involve the police and was actually scared for my home and my investment. It was completely infuriating and scary, but I am trying very hard to learn from it and learn how to stop it from happening again. I saw a side of a person that made me realize the true dangers that surrounded me and the energy I wasted trying to just "deal" with things or wait them out. I thought - hey, its only a couple years left on our contract, I can deal...but I couldn't. I truly cannot blame others for how I was feeling, I am accountable for not being able to neutralize the situations when they happened, for allowing my emotions to overwhelm me, cause me anxiety and pull me away from the positives. I should have done something right away - as soon as my gut told me things were not ok. I didn't though. Only became worse, more dangerous, to the point that my husband had a live feed of camera streaming right to his phone and he came to my salon to check on me almost daily. But we can't change the past so I must move forward and learn from it. I thankfully had my fabulous support right beside me the whole time. He saved me from many mental breakdowns. Anyways - all this being said, its a new day, I feel relief now and I think writing will help me manage my life better. I do feel some mental freedom again and am enjoying my time at work much more. Which has opened up some mental space for a new project - this blog. I don't tend to be very open, so this is therapeutic, and I hope also helpful for others. I am nervous to expose myself to the criticisms of online audiences, but I must try or I have failed before beginning, by my own hand.
In conclusion - my original plan with starting this blog has changed - went from a way to promote my salon to a personal therapeutic practice, given situations over the past few years really. And timing isn't what I intended either - but I think this is for the best as my mind space is quite different now. Thanks for listening if you are, this is me! And I am trying something new to improve my mental health.
